I had resigned myself to nothing... really, sadly. I was at that place where I had done everything I could have done and yet nothing was changing, as far as I could see anyway.
So as usual that day I dressed up to go no where, I sat in my bedroom, and if I remember correctly I was entertaining myself, singing, day -dreaming... doing my best not to go there, there being to the land of dark, discouraging thoughts. and then it happend.
My sister, burst into the room and begins to scream "you got it! Mum just collected it." I could not believe it! one minute I am lying on my bed the next I am holding my sister we are laughing and then I begin to cry, like really cry and my sister begins to cry too. and we just stand there holding each other. crying.
I wish I could tell you how long you had to go through the wait, the pain, Just two weeks left, another night to go. I wish God did tell us that :)
In this present pain know this, you will praise him yet again. you may feel like your floating now, going through the motions, unseen and unheard by Him who loves you. But he is closer now more than ever.
psalm 126:1 "When the Lord restored his exiles to Jerusalem it was like a dream"
psalm 42: 5 &11 " Why am I so discouraged? Why am I so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again- My Saviour, my God
psalm 18: 16-17: "You reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters. He delivered me from my powerful enemies, from those who hated me and were too strong for me."
psalm 125:1 " Those who trust in the Lord are as secure as Mount Zion: they will not be defeated but will endure forever."
What am trying to say is God got our back no matter how things look now, irrespective of how we feel.