Saturday 26 April 2008

from sun-rise to sun set

hebrews 10: 35
'do not throw away this confident trust in the lord,
no matter what happens.
remember the great reward it brings you!'
beautiful verse; the part that got to me is ofcourse the line i have highlighted... 'no matter what happens'.
and you and i know alot CAN and HAS happened in our lives; in this journey of faith... things that wore us out, made us doubt, made us question; some of us even let go... only to rush back and regain hold of our faith....
'no matter what happens'
maybe this is a reminder; to hold on.
a reminder to believe in the promise of your Lord
a reminder to trust in his love and mercy that ENDURETH FOREVER.
from sun rise to sun set....
from the moutain top even unto the valley
no matter what happens.... do not throw away this confident trust you have in the lord; remember the great reward it brings you.
it is well. faithfulness is his[God's] very character [psalm 89: 8].
his peace. chichi.

Tuesday 22 April 2008

this number is not reachable at the moment please try again later....

have you ever had this happen to you? what a question right? but has this happened to you when you 'mess up' and someone has gotten hurt and you so badly want to reach out and make things better; then Celtel abi MTN... vodafone, Tmobile... whatever tell you ' you can't make things better; not yet... not now.'

yesterday i slipped.... you know how you begin to fall; you are unaware that you are slipping till 'BOOM' your bum hits the ground hard! and slowly the pain comes... slowly the hurting begins, slowly you wonder 'HOW' what did i hit? what did i trip over? wasn't there something i could hold to prevent this fall?

so yes yesterday i fell; not the kind you may think; but the fall of a 'saint'... and i felt so bad; coviction became guilt; guilt became shame... and shame kept me curled up afraid to look up at God and 'come clean'. i mean he is aware of it... and just going to him and admiting it made me feel so ashamed; so worse than ashamed.

but i eventually picked up courage and spoke to him; not boldly... but timidly; not like a son... but as one so undeserving of that status.....

how could i fall like that?

i asked myself over and over as i tried to talk with God....

i felt like he wouldn't WANT to listen to what i had to say.... why should he; he had every reason; every right to BLOCK ME OUT for as long as he choose. it would have hurt but... i would not have complained; i would have waited till he called me.... no matter how long that wait would be.

as i spoke; i KNEW he was listining... he always does listen. HE NEVER BLOCKS US OUT; NO MATTER HOW MUCH OF A MESS WE MAKE OF THIGS OF OURSELVES... HE WILL LISTEN, HE WILL FORGIVE, HE WILL REBUKE AND INSTRUCT AND HE WILL LOVE NO MATTER WHAT!!!

and NO; No we should not go on 'sinning' so that grace may abound....; i remembered the song by donnie mclurkin : 'we fall down but we get up.' and i felt the Lord say to me : "we should not just live our lives with the mindset of 'falling' as 'humble' as that may be; but we should live our lives CAREFUL not to fall; looking at the 'ground' we are treding on and taking a step back or FLEEING when it calls for it.

i read the blog of 'disgodkid' his most recent post and i was 'moved' because i saw in his post the God i was reminded about yesterday; a God who like david said 'REMEMBERS we are from dust'.

God has given us his stength in exchange for our weaknessess; he has given us his wisdom in exchange for our foolishness; he has give us his righteousness in exchange for our sin stained garments....

HE LOVES ME!
HE LOVES YOU!

i fell; i will fall, you fell; you will fall BUT GUESS WHAT???

when you call G-O-D; when you want to reach out and 'make things right'.... no CONNECTION wahala would get in the way!!

remember NOTHING can seperate us from his love!!!

i just picked me up! hallelujah.

his grace is suffiecient.

p.s : for the guy who on his blog said in his opinion 'jesus was a failure': I pray for you.... I pray for you.and just so you know that 'failure' has hopes of kicking it with u someday!!!

his peace. chichi.

Friday 18 April 2008

*dedicated to T*

A sigh, a look, a prayer…

“No man could love her.”
She hears them whisper
Their scorn and mockery;
She can take no longer.


“Good girls finish last.”
The story of her life,
Yet she is determined;
To believe for an answer.

What she lacks she makes up for
In ways only a true man could appreciate
What she wants; is no game
Just love, just truth, just what is hers.

What gain can she claim?
If there is no one by her side
What has been her purpose?
If she has failed to ‘secure’ a life?

Tonight she wants to ask the forbidden
She wants to know: ‘what about me?’
What wrong have I done? To want the pure
To stay pure?

Why do they mock me?
Am I not good enough to be loved?
What about me?
What about me?


She looks at me awaiting an answer
Answer to a question I do not know either?
She believes in prayer
She believes in God
And all I can tell her is:
That is good enough…

Tomorrow you will smile
When you remember this journey of ours
Someday you will say; “I’m glad I did it no other way.”

But until that day comes
Deal with the present feeling however you must
But never count yourself out
There is a tomorrow on the horizon

To believe this is a MUST.


his peace; my love. chichi.

Friday 4 April 2008

what lies ahead?

i don't know about anyone out there; but i do wonder about the infamous 'tomorrow'... as much as the word of God says don't I do.

some posts ago [feels like a decade now!!] i wrote on something i titled 'it is suppose to be'. i was in a place in my life where that was all i was medidating on... i was so restless, unhappy,confused because i personally did not understand WHY i was where i was; why things were the way they were. the enemy kept stealing my joy and i kept letting him.... i was at my wits end... i was loosing it; faith, hope, strength, joy, peace....BUT PRAISE GOD; I "GOT IT" i got the revelation and it changed alot of things for me!!

i know where i am coming from, the battles i have fought, the things i have seen, the mistakes i have made, the fears i have faced.... I KNOW YESTERDAY, BUT I DO NOT KNOW TOMORROW; and lets be honest that CAN be very, very scary.

one day i was taking a walk back from lectures; and i never look up when i walk... it is weird; i always look at the ground with the occssional lifiting up of my head which goes back down in an instant [may need doctor phil to analyze this!!]. as i walked the rare occasion where i lift up my head occured; but instead of instantly going back to admiring the ground; i decided to look ahead...

i saw a foggy picture of trees, and tall buldings and open, clear skies and i heard this whispered to me:
'as far as your eyes can see'. this i reapted over and over again in my mind 'as far as your eyes can see' and then i remembered the story of Abraham.

before i go further; i just wanted to say how God 'blows' me away each time... the way he sends words to us his children even before the 'situation' that requires that word occurs. this is the same with this incident... i was not in a place of wondering about my future, about my life on the day this word came....!!! its just amazing.

anyway back to the gist:

somedys after, i had time to look in my bible for the encounter Abraham had with God... where God told him something similar to what he told me, Genesis 15:5-:

"then the lord brought Abram outside beneath the nightsky and told him 'look uo into the heavens and count the stars if you can. your decedants will be like that-too many to count."

God literaly told Abraham 'you will have what you see'.

alot of exhaltations have been shared on 'having what you say-the power of confessing the right things into your life' but not much emphasis is placed on the importance of having a picture of that life/that future in your mind.

i know a girl who has a picture of her wedding ring on her finger!! she tells me she closes her eyes and she JUST SEES IT!!

we will not have JUST WHAT WE SAY, but WHAT WE SEE as well.

get that 'child' in you awake.... begin to see 'helicopters in your backyard'[so to speak]; we adults have gotten so jaded, and when it comes to God and faith you have to have 'OUTRAGEOUS' expectations!!

i say outrageous as one speaking in the flesh, as an ordinary man; BUT you and i know... no dream or request brought before our heavenly father is BIGGER than he is.

so when next we wonder : "what lies ahead?"
i hope we follow that question with : "what do i see?"

for anyone who struggles with SEEING that picture.... just as God took Abraham outside... he will lead you to his WORD... as the word enters into your heart, and as your faith reaches new heights the PICTURE becomes clearer...

"its all in our faith."
"its all in our faith."

his peace.chichi

Wednesday 2 April 2008

untitled.

not for a moment would she shed a tear
because she knows; yes she knows

she would no surrender to dispair
so much she knows, too much she knows

the signs would not sway her-
the truth is rooted strongly within her.........

so much she knows; too much she knows.

those who WAIT upon the LORD shall RENEW their strength....
they shall RUN and would NOT faint.


'things are going to get easier.'

happy new month.
his peace. my love. chichi.