have you ever had this happen to you? what a question right? but has this happened to you when you 'mess up' and someone has gotten hurt and you so badly want to reach out and make things better; then Celtel abi MTN... vodafone, Tmobile... whatever tell you ' you can't make things better; not yet... not now.'
yesterday i slipped.... you know how you begin to fall; you are unaware that you are slipping till 'BOOM' your bum hits the ground hard! and slowly the pain comes... slowly the hurting begins, slowly you wonder 'HOW' what did i hit? what did i trip over? wasn't there something i could hold to prevent this fall?
so yes yesterday i fell; not the kind you may think; but the fall of a 'saint'... and i felt so bad; coviction became guilt; guilt became shame... and shame kept me curled up afraid to look up at God and 'come clean'. i mean he is aware of it... and just going to him and admiting it made me feel so ashamed; so worse than ashamed.
but i eventually picked up courage and spoke to him; not boldly... but timidly; not like a son... but as one so undeserving of that status.....
how could i fall like that?
i asked myself over and over as i tried to talk with God....
i felt like he wouldn't WANT to listen to what i had to say.... why should he; he had every reason; every right to BLOCK ME OUT for as long as he choose. it would have hurt but... i would not have complained; i would have waited till he called me.... no matter how long that wait would be.
as i spoke; i KNEW he was listining... he always does listen. HE NEVER BLOCKS US OUT; NO MATTER HOW MUCH OF A MESS WE MAKE OF THIGS OF OURSELVES... HE WILL LISTEN, HE WILL FORGIVE, HE WILL REBUKE AND INSTRUCT AND HE WILL LOVE NO MATTER WHAT!!!
and NO; No we should not go on 'sinning' so that grace may abound....; i remembered the song by donnie mclurkin : 'we fall down but we get up.' and i felt the Lord say to me : "we should not just live our lives with the mindset of 'falling' as 'humble' as that may be; but we should live our lives CAREFUL not to fall; looking at the 'ground' we are treding on and taking a step back or FLEEING when it calls for it.
i read the blog of 'disgodkid' his most recent post and i was 'moved' because i saw in his post the God i was reminded about yesterday; a God who like david said 'REMEMBERS we are from dust'.
God has given us his stength in exchange for our weaknessess; he has given us his wisdom in exchange for our foolishness; he has give us his righteousness in exchange for our sin stained garments....
HE LOVES ME!
HE LOVES YOU!
i fell; i will fall, you fell; you will fall BUT GUESS WHAT???
when you call G-O-D; when you want to reach out and 'make things right'.... no CONNECTION wahala would get in the way!!
remember NOTHING can seperate us from his love!!!
i just picked me up! hallelujah.
his grace is suffiecient.
p.s : for the guy who on his blog said in his opinion 'jesus was a failure': I pray for you.... I pray for you.and just so you know that 'failure' has hopes of kicking it with u someday!!!
his peace. chichi.