Tuesday, 22 April 2008

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have you ever had this happen to you? what a question right? but has this happened to you when you 'mess up' and someone has gotten hurt and you so badly want to reach out and make things better; then Celtel abi MTN... vodafone, Tmobile... whatever tell you ' you can't make things better; not yet... not now.'

yesterday i slipped.... you know how you begin to fall; you are unaware that you are slipping till 'BOOM' your bum hits the ground hard! and slowly the pain comes... slowly the hurting begins, slowly you wonder 'HOW' what did i hit? what did i trip over? wasn't there something i could hold to prevent this fall?

so yes yesterday i fell; not the kind you may think; but the fall of a 'saint'... and i felt so bad; coviction became guilt; guilt became shame... and shame kept me curled up afraid to look up at God and 'come clean'. i mean he is aware of it... and just going to him and admiting it made me feel so ashamed; so worse than ashamed.

but i eventually picked up courage and spoke to him; not boldly... but timidly; not like a son... but as one so undeserving of that status.....

how could i fall like that?

i asked myself over and over as i tried to talk with God....

i felt like he wouldn't WANT to listen to what i had to say.... why should he; he had every reason; every right to BLOCK ME OUT for as long as he choose. it would have hurt but... i would not have complained; i would have waited till he called me.... no matter how long that wait would be.

as i spoke; i KNEW he was listining... he always does listen. HE NEVER BLOCKS US OUT; NO MATTER HOW MUCH OF A MESS WE MAKE OF THIGS OF OURSELVES... HE WILL LISTEN, HE WILL FORGIVE, HE WILL REBUKE AND INSTRUCT AND HE WILL LOVE NO MATTER WHAT!!!

and NO; No we should not go on 'sinning' so that grace may abound....; i remembered the song by donnie mclurkin : 'we fall down but we get up.' and i felt the Lord say to me : "we should not just live our lives with the mindset of 'falling' as 'humble' as that may be; but we should live our lives CAREFUL not to fall; looking at the 'ground' we are treding on and taking a step back or FLEEING when it calls for it.

i read the blog of 'disgodkid' his most recent post and i was 'moved' because i saw in his post the God i was reminded about yesterday; a God who like david said 'REMEMBERS we are from dust'.

God has given us his stength in exchange for our weaknessess; he has given us his wisdom in exchange for our foolishness; he has give us his righteousness in exchange for our sin stained garments....

HE LOVES ME!
HE LOVES YOU!

i fell; i will fall, you fell; you will fall BUT GUESS WHAT???

when you call G-O-D; when you want to reach out and 'make things right'.... no CONNECTION wahala would get in the way!!

remember NOTHING can seperate us from his love!!!

i just picked me up! hallelujah.

his grace is suffiecient.

p.s : for the guy who on his blog said in his opinion 'jesus was a failure': I pray for you.... I pray for you.and just so you know that 'failure' has hopes of kicking it with u someday!!!

his peace. chichi.

5 comments:

Believer said...

His grace is indeed sufficient. Thank God for your blog, it's an oasis in the desert.
Remain blessed

chichi said...

@ beleiver:darling how u doing? thnx 4 ur text o! its always gud to knw ppl r thikin of u. stay blessed.x

Honeywell said...

*stands to clap loudly*

This is so inspiring to me... thanks so much for sharing this... mehn, sometimes, that guilt just makes you so ashamed, its like.... i can't even describe it. its horrible, feeling like you messed up and the thought of facing God, the almighty, with whose breath can wipe out a life, is just scary... but thankfully, his love is as great as his wrath.. thank God he is a patient God....

As for the guy you talked about, just leave him to God.... the best testimonies come from the mouths of staunch unbelievers... biko if God could change paul, who went out of his way to kill christians (imagine a person flying from the UK to china just to kill a christian) then don't worry, that guy will be a piece of cake.... :)

chichi said...

@honeywell: na true tlk o! nuthin n no one is 2 diff 4 God. thx 4 dropin by.x

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

Truly enlightening. Truly enlightening. Thanks for sharing. An incident from last night is causing a storm in my heart, but I will hold onto this and other words of wisdom from the great Book. God bless.