Tuesday, 10 March 2009

Learning to be a son

I will like to think that with my earthly parents I have been a perfect child. bringing home great grades, always polite and submissive, never given them reason to think "what is her problem?" but I know I haven't been the perfect child, far from it but I have been their child and they love me perfectly.

I remember once in Junior secondary school, I had a really bad school report and i hid it from my parents. however, they finally found out, not just that my grade was bad but that i hid it from them, and man was it a looonngg summer break.

shortly after the incident before i was to return to boarding school, my mum took me to Mr. Bigs (kinda like a KFC in Nigeria) and she said to me 'pick anything you want.' and i was surprised and i said to her ' why do you want to buy anything for me' and my mum's reply was 'why not?'

in my head I did not deserve the treat but my mum thought I was crazy to think that.

I would like to tell you that to my heavenly father I have been a perfect child, that I own a sign post that says 'NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS ONE!' or it is in-fact true; but I too have my share of many fallings that leave me beside my self in grief.

There have been days when the last thing i felt like was like a son to him, most times I stay away when i think 'my mess is too messy, But thank Jesus, I am learning that even when it hurts to go to him after all I have said, done and thought, i should because I am his son no matter what; He does not condemn me no matter how wrong I have been, nor does he berate me for going off the path he carved out, he holds me close to his heart; like the father of the prodigal son, he is just glad to see me and when I ask him why he cares for me at all, I imagine that with a smile on his face, as he wipes my tears he says to me 'why not?'


he's crazy about ya!

keep surviving on grace. chichi


Danny B said...

awww......nice post again..... we sure need to keep surviving on grace.....he knows our frame, he remembers we are dust.

Believer said...

True talk my sis, He loves us perfectly even when we aren't perfect!

Jaycee said...

Wow...this post is SHACKING MY BRAIN!!!! Ah, my mess will never be too messy for my Father. Thank you for your grace Dad!

I really love this post...

naijagirl said...

Chi Chi, this is an uplifting post....dont stop writing

If only we knew the depth of the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. The grace that is found in the throne of grace which we are told to come boldly to.

dr. ekwegh said...

God has blessed you to be able to eloquently display the beauty of His grace and I am blessed to know you.

chichi said...

@ danny: awww... thank you. yup he does know what he is dealing with when it comes to us.

@believer: ditto!

@jaycee: God's grace amazes me everytime. i can't say it has been on my mind like this before. thank God for grace and his revelation on it.

@ naija girl: THANK YOU! God uses the gifts in us all to make a difference in the world and in people. it is an honor to be able to share about Him and his ways.

@ dr. ekwegh: my one and only! love you plenty plenty!!

David C Brown said...

On you, through grace, good seed was cast -
So hold it fast!

Grace covered all your sinful past -
So hold it fast!

Nail grace as standard to your mast
And hold it fast!

God's grace will lead you home at last -
So hold it fast!

chichi said...

@ david: lovely poem. grace is mind boggling, but we remain grateful.