this number is not reachable at the moment please try again later....

have you ever had this happen to you? what a question right? but has this happened to you when you 'mess up' and someone has gotten hurt and you so badly want to reach out and make things better; then Celtel abi MTN... vodafone, Tmobile... whatever tell you ' you can't make things better; not yet... not now.'

yesterday i slipped.... you know how you begin to fall; you are unaware that you are slipping till 'BOOM' your bum hits the ground hard! and slowly the pain comes... slowly the hurting begins, slowly you wonder 'HOW' what did i hit? what did i trip over? wasn't there something i could hold to prevent this fall?

so yes yesterday i fell; not the kind you may think; but the fall of a 'saint'... and i felt so bad; coviction became guilt; guilt became shame... and shame kept me curled up afraid to look up at God and 'come clean'. i mean he is aware of it... and just going to him and admiting it made me feel so ashamed; so worse than ashamed.

but i eventually picked up courage and spoke to him; not boldly... but timidly; not like a son... but as one so undeserving of that status.....

how could i fall like that?

i asked myself over and over as i tried to talk with God....

i felt like he wouldn't WANT to listen to what i had to say.... why should he; he had every reason; every right to BLOCK ME OUT for as long as he choose. it would have hurt but... i would not have complained; i would have waited till he called me.... no matter how long that wait would be.

as i spoke; i KNEW he was listining... he always does listen. HE NEVER BLOCKS US OUT; NO MATTER HOW MUCH OF A MESS WE MAKE OF THIGS OF OURSELVES... HE WILL LISTEN, HE WILL FORGIVE, HE WILL REBUKE AND INSTRUCT AND HE WILL LOVE NO MATTER WHAT!!!

and NO; No we should not go on 'sinning' so that grace may abound....; i remembered the song by donnie mclurkin : 'we fall down but we get up.' and i felt the Lord say to me : "we should not just live our lives with the mindset of 'falling' as 'humble' as that may be; but we should live our lives CAREFUL not to fall; looking at the 'ground' we are treding on and taking a step back or FLEEING when it calls for it.

i read the blog of 'disgodkid' his most recent post and i was 'moved' because i saw in his post the God i was reminded about yesterday; a God who like david said 'REMEMBERS we are from dust'.

God has given us his stength in exchange for our weaknessess; he has given us his wisdom in exchange for our foolishness; he has give us his righteousness in exchange for our sin stained garments....

HE LOVES ME!
HE LOVES YOU!

i fell; i will fall, you fell; you will fall BUT GUESS WHAT???

when you call G-O-D; when you want to reach out and 'make things right'.... no CONNECTION wahala would get in the way!!

remember NOTHING can seperate us from his love!!!

i just picked me up! hallelujah.

his grace is suffiecient.

p.s : for the guy who on his blog said in his opinion 'jesus was a failure': I pray for you.... I pray for you.and just so you know that 'failure' has hopes of kicking it with u someday!!!

his peace. chichi.

loving us as we are...

ps 139 vs 1 : "O lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me." {NLT}

*short story*

in primary school, i was the chubby girl with the geeky glassess{ glassess still there tho much more trendy- the weight? lets just say 'curves' LOL!!}; i remember then, my favorite book in the libary was about a chubby girl who had no friends, and who then lost weight and everyone wanted to be her friend!!

well i had friends; what i did not have was any boy crushing on me!!{when i was a child...*sigh*}. i was NOT the 'type' the boys were going for; and in so many ways it was shown.


then in primary 5 i met O.H, it is weird how i still remeber his surname,how he looked... or is it?
i remember him because; he had a crush on me... he liked me.

it was weird for me... No boy had 'liked me-liked me'; i remeber one day he was talking to me, and i think i actualy said 'are you talking to me?' that is how SHOCKED i was... there were finer girls {thank God fordeleiverance from such low self estem}.

finally i accepted O.H crush, and i experienced something i had believed i'd leave primry school without!!


sometimes we wonder what God is STILL doing with us; why does he STILL care about me, why does he STILL love me... after all i have said and done, does he not know it all, my wicked private thoughts, my flaws... does he not see them....

feeling undeserving of the love of God has its limit!! sometimes statan is just messing with our mind, telling us how undeserving we are... and in those times God takes NO delight in our seeming 'awe' of his love...


i told the story above becuse i believe in alot of ways it is kinda how we react to the fact that God loves us just as we are...

we are like "me? me? God loves ME??!"

he does, i was thinking of the fact that God CHOSE to love you and i; he purposely loves you, his love did not just happen, he pre-planned to love us...eph chapter one the verse 4 says God chose us in christ and loved us BEFORE the foundation of the world was made....

and everyday since after he made the foundation of the world he loves us STILL... as we are, as i am...

and it is his love for us that inspires us to be better people for him...

while we were yet sinners he died for us.

i think we should stop trying to figure out why he does love us and begin to accept it and thank him for it....

he knows EVERYTHING and he CHOOSES to STILL LOVE US!!

aint that just fantastic!!

his peace. chichi.

''LOVE IN MY EYES''

i've got LOVE in my eyes {hence the red}...
just got back few mo' ago from the cinema saw ENCHANTED... awwww lovely.
i tapped my feet, 'ohheed' and 'ahhed' at all the right places... love is beautiful; it is even better when it is pure, wholesome and yours!!

today we are caught in a generation/world that is searching for wholeness... feeling a need to belong. some folks would rather be in a relationship that is like being in hell-fire than be the word they hate, and dread most ... than be ALONE.

my brother told me once that being ALONE{without a man} does not mean your lonely, or there is something WRONG with you!! here-here if you've ever felt or have been told you have a 'problem' just cause your SINGLE??


as i got on the bus heading home a scripture came to my mind, a scripture i would put down to end this post... also a phrase jumped up from within me...
'LOVE BEGINS WITH AND IN GOD'

i love the verse in Eph 1 vs 23 that says : THE FULLNESS OF HIM WHO FILLS ALL IN ALL.

we need to get THE love we need for our soul and spirit from GOD... THE love that fills us is NOT hiding away in some mister/miss right {really}.

when we get in on THE love.... ah i believe we will never NEED someone/ anyone to MAKE us FEEL loved... because we would already know we are!!

a friend* of mine has taken a break from dating a sort of 'i kissed dating goodbye' thing why? she wants to get full on the love of God, and there by love herself as she begins to see her self through her Creators eyes...
no more will she jump up at any guy who says the "L'' word, it would not make her settle or feel lucky. the lady is loved, ah the lady knows she is loved.

sweetheart do you know you are loved already? yes you reading this, there is no need to compromise, there is no need to feel empty.... let your heavnly father's LOVE fill you-it can.
woman the BIBLE says : HE THAT FINDETH A WIFE FINDETH A GOOD THING AND OBTAINETH FAVOUR FROM THE LORD.

not you{woman} he{man} why? because when he woman gets into a love relatonship with GOD, when a woman allows THE love of GOD to fill her ''empty'' and parched soul.... she stops searching and just begins to rest in love that is MORE than enough... in a LOVE that brings together lovers, she is no more jumping from sheet to sheet, she is no more crying out to GOD '' give me a MAN'' she is satified with THE love that never gets old, that never gets sore.

thank God for those who have in their hands the love made for them... for love indeed is a beautiful and somewhat in todays world a rare commodity.

thank God for those who are SINGLE for the lord is now youe companion ashe promised in isaiah-to be your husband.

but above all thank GOD for those who have and are reaching out to know, and experience the FULLNESS of GOd's love.... for in it they find peace in times of despair, joy in times of pain, victory in battles, beauty of life. AND SO MUCH MORE:

ah jesus let me get full on your love, that just like the woman by the well i would thirst no more!! halleluyah.

oh yes the bible verse- eph 3 from vs 17 to 19:

that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you being grounded and rooted in love,

may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the width and length and depth and height-

to know the love of christ which passes knoweledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

ah... ive got love in my eyes true true. i want to get full, i am ready to get full, i CHOOSE to get full.

what about you?

his peace. my love. chichi