Epilogue

Thank God for everything; I am here again by the grace of God, I keep taking long breaks whenever I go to NIgeria its about time someone asked me 'whats up with that?' anyway God willing no disappearing act, and by his grace messages that would inspire and bless ME.. and then you. Me first because I too need to be taught, be feed by him, and it is what he graciously gives me that i can share.

Summer was a testimony, hiccups here and there, but God was faithful and gracious none the less. I am in my final year @ Uni!! thank you Lord, never thought it would come so soon, so much to be done... His grace is sufficient.

Anyway hope y'all have been well,

Believer I don't know when my first post would be, but hopefully a word comes soon.
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"This was God's plan which he had made long ago; he knew all this would happen." Acts 2:23

Ever wondered 'why is this happening to me?'; ever asked "God if you knew I will face this why did you let it?' sometimes these BIG questions get a silence from God, not that he has ignored you or that he has not heard your query, or your tears, but because There is a Plan. There is a Plan. The book of Jeremiah 29:11 says God has a plan for you and I; a plan for GOOD and not for EVIL.
The plan may not have been for things to get to tangled up and murky but the murky and the tangled up must surrender to the plan of God.

I am never prepared for a lot of the 'all that happen', but Acts 2:23 says "He knew...'
I am not prepared for this battle, this mountain, but God not only knew there would be this challenge, he knew I would not be ready for it because there was no way of me seeing it before hand.
No one likes to be taken unawares, someone drops by to visit without informing you they were coming or that they had no intention of leaving your home that day, such little things get most of us all worked up and bothered, How much more the BIG things, when life happens, when people leave, when you come face to face with your imperfection or fallibleness, what do we do when the unexpected happens? what do I do? I cry and agonize, and query God... and take a large dose of self-pity.
But;

what CAN I do when the unexpected happens? what CAN you do?
we can claim the Peace of God, claim his strength and divine ability.

we can remind ourselves that it is not about us, never, but it is about God, the devil won't bother with you if you didn't have God on your side, that is why God said the 'Battle is His.'

when we are faced with the unexpected, Act 2:23 encourages us to relax, God is prepared to see us through it, one day at a time, one step at a time.
His peace.

Chichi

what do I say?

it has been a looooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg while; i have been pondering what my 'first post' in months should be about.

something intense, start off with a funny story, go deep, stay on the surface?? what do i say?

well this blog is all about life and God, and life in God. so i will go as the spirit leads; plus this blog is not about me... not my alter, it is to God and to anyone out there who needs a pick me up ... should God 'pick you up' through any post here. wow! i will be so honored and blest.

christains are not perfect people with perfect lives; they are people who aim for perfection while the perfector perfects all that concerns them daily. i say this to remind myself not to look down on myself or anyone who loves God but falls short now and then; we wont get it right all the time, if we would there will be no need for grace.

i thank God for a wonderful holiday with my family; today i am forced to remember people who do not have that especially in the wake of today seven years ago in the US... the hurt and horror will not die. i prayed to God for him to comfort those people who lost family and friends, those who with the death of a husband, father, mother, wife, child lost the zeal and will to live, i prayed for comfort, his comfort. the bible tells me God is the God of all comfort. ALL, no matter the hurt he knows the words to say, the way to hold you and i to ease us from the crushing pain in our hearts.

someone will ask if there is a God then why do 'bad' things happen world over? i can not claim to know the anwer to that, but i am convinced there is a God; he lives, he speaks i am convinced. for as many things that raise questions to God's exitence, there are thousands that testify to it.

in time of hardship and anguish we who are God's chosen ones are called to trust him, TRUST him; a pslam says 'with all your heart' once again ALL. as my sister would say 'i may not see his hand but i trust his heart'.

somedays ago i spent time in prayer thanking God for his love. HIS LOVE is divine, his love chases the darkness away... for his love is the light at the end of the tunnel, his love is the reason why you and i SHOULD hope in him.

gosh now so much wants to pour out of me, for a second i had planned to just say 'stay tuned' lol.

what do i say? i say this HIS LOVE IS REAL, AND IT IS ABOUT TIME WE TRUST IN IT.

his peace. my love. chichi

a year almost in words

As I listen to this gospel track eight; I am so grateful I so would not have made it this far without my God, my Lord my everything… I mean I have learnt so much about him; even though I still act as though I need ‘schooling’ but if he had not chosen to bless me, to love me or show me his compassion…. I won’t be here literally and metaphorically.

I mean when I first got into the UK; I was still miserable, I had left ‘Egypt’ but in Canaan I was depressed; my mind was tormented, I felt so isolated and alone… so out of my depth; there were nights I cried, just like in ‘Henry Carr’ those nights I cried myself to sleep; mehn, God has been with me o! He has seen me at my worst and at my feeble attempt at being my best…. He has seen me whole, broken, torn, ripped, and his love and grace has always loved me into wholeness, into joy…. Into peace.

Academically it has been wonderful, my worst experience though is all the group works I was a part of, because none of them made me better…. None of them gave me room or a chance, I was just a number not a participator; but the writing has been wonderful…. I have written some wonderful pieces , from MARA to Girl like me and others, the writing has been my best experience, though there was a point where I thought I did not have it in me; but God, ND and ‘brown-bear’ were there to help me get it together.
I became an aunt too; I saw the birth of my niece live…. I made a friend; D wonderful girl…. There was Ly but she left and funny I did not get to miss her, because Dee was introduced into my life and it has been fun. I hope next year we are still chummy; she is the type of girl pal I want.I added weight in Nigeria, came here lost some… then picked it up then lost a bit
So far mehn I give God all the glory, honor and adoration; here I am today and I remember where I was yesterday and I just worship him; he has loved me and just been too much. When I had given up on dreaming he sent me to sleep…. Giving me another chance of dreaming. Who is like my God? Who is like my God?
I was not sick one day.
I never went hungry.
I never went without the right clothes for the weather.
I was never alone even when I walked alone.

He has loved me with a love that is beyond my understanding, but my heart understands that in the greatness of his love I am humbled and I know I should be thankful and grateful.

So here is to my God, my creator, my everything: thank you, thank you, and thank you.
It is you and me, me and you in this thing called life.

For all the experiences, good or bad
For all the blessings big and small
For what you have helped me to understand and even for those things you are calling me to trust you for without understanding ‘why’.

I know you are faithful. I know you are faithful and I love you so much. I love you so, so, much.

through with my first year; God has bee too good to me.

his peace. chichi.

Remembering her.

today is the birthday of a dear friend of mine, who died sometime last year.
i had plans today; like light a candle etc... but i did not get on to doing that.

when i heard of her death; i cried my eyes sore, for days she was in my dreams. i really liked her alot; i am not really prone to making friends easily... or even trusting people enough to call them that but she was different.

the girl liked me and i knew it in all the little ways she showed it. she always wanted me looking good, always wanted me 'hooked', always wanted me doing well in school. she was not perfect; but you know how when loved ones die all we remember is how wonderfully fantastic they were!

i know i am not the one who misses her most, but i hope i am not the one who misses her the least.

she passed away so suddenly; like i ... no one saw it coming. she was so young; so full of dreams; she wanted to work in GSK.... possibly marry her boyfried at the time.

we really were as close as we could be. she was a good person, who believed in jesus. and that is why a long time ago i stopped crying over her... because she is truly with our heavenly father.

my prayer this morning as i rembered what today was/would have been : was that we know just how fragile this life is.... it can end like that *snaps finger*... we only pray to fufil our destinies and live out our dreams.... but why do we , or some of us procastinate on those thigs we can get done today on those changes we can begin to make in our lives.

not all of us will be old and grey, and have those moments to sit back and relive yesterday...[though the prayer is we would al make it then]. today counts, this moment, NOW IS IMPORTANT.

the bible says 'make use of every oppurtunity'. in church yesterday the message ws 'Jesus wants us to enjoy our lives.'that is why he came , that is why he died.

so lets live, as cliche as it sounds: lets live as though tomorrow is not a given. because as morbid as it may sound it really is not.

lets give God our best today
lets give loved ones our best today
today is the day to laugh, sing loudly and out of tune in the shower!! [like me]

now is the time to live....
to live a life that is without shame and regret when we come before his throne.

olaitan rest in peace. thank you for your friendship.

his peace. chichi.

untitled.

Ruth chapter one.

i want to share a message from my 'bible-study' journal; when i read it late last night, it moved me... so much i read it to my mum; i hope it MOVES someone too-i hope it comforts, encourages and strenthens as it did me:

"the moment of lack and insuffiency will surely pass; sometimes we are too sense orflesh ruled that we analyze the situations we face from the realm of the flesh and seek physical solutions to it.

what if Elimelech had not moved his family? would his death and those of his sons had happened?who knows.

VS6: sy alot but a key word is "... again" God blessed his people again.GOD IS AN AGAIN GOD!! if he did it before he will surely do it again because he IS there is NO shadow of change to him or his will for us his children.

so what do you seem to lack?have you looked around and seen nothing coming forth? are you loosing faith in a revival/renewal and planning on making a move? WAIT... i believe if there is anythng God had to ay to his children today it is 'wait' whay are you in a hurry? why am i?

NOW has its purpose, its reason. so wiat and who knows you may just be escaping a great loos by doing so.

in Ruth i see selflessness;Ruth could have easily left or bad-mouthed orpah before Naomi for living. VS18{NLT} says Ruth "made up her mind". alot of us need to 'make up our minds' not tomorrow but today!! because ONCE we know for sure today, tomorrow can NOT shake us.

the mind is a powerful thing/weapon, once its on the right track, set on the positive your life can NOT go off the path, neither can your mouth lead your life off the right path.

make a decision today, so that tomorrow having done everything to stand, you will stand.

is that decision to have faith, forgive, love yourself, live healthly, pray more, be more commited as a student, partner,employer.... everydya something in our life is calling us to MAKE A DECISION, TO MAKE UP OUR MINDS....

settle those issues once and for all; the mind is powerful once you have chosen /decided everything begins to fall into place. you can not be swayed differently.

Ruth did NOT speak harshly of orpah for living; we need to STOP playing judge and jury.... nobody has to be like us or live/act like us!!

stop 'hating' on those who act differently or choose differently; STOP 'hating' on those who walk-away while we stayed!!

we NEED to let mtters go. orpah left, Ruth did not drag the issue out in her mind or with Naomi; she moved on-she refused to be imprisoned by whatever feeling orpah's departing possesed. we need to let matters go and not embrace them/it. LET IT GO!!

a good thing came out of Moab; Ruth did for Naomi. even when we step out, God is there providing the help we need along the way, all geared up to taking us to where we NEED to be.

its not good to step out of line BUT then again thank God because it will never be the end of the world for us.

in pain good can be born. God's grace and love will win out in the end."



his peace. chichi

the choice the price.

as i lay in bed unwilling to arise from my slumber and begin my day, a scripture was wisphered into my spirit-Exoduos 8 vs 1-10.

it happens to me like that sometimes; God just 'wisphers' a word to me. anyway i jumped out from bed, reached for my bible, opened to the passage and began to study.

the gist of it: Moses had been sent to pharaoh with a message from God "let my people go, so they can worship me" that was the message the instruction; the command. however God added "...IF you refuse.... i will send vast hordes of frogs across your entire land...."

pharaoh refused- and payed the price; ' .... frogs covered the WHOLE land of Egypt..." vs6

time passed- and pharoah sent for Moses and Aaron and begged "plead with the Lord to take the frogs away from me and my people...."

Moses replied that it was Pharoah who decided when he will pray for the Land to be rid of the plaugue of frogs.

pharoah's answer: "do it tomorrow.

i personally have wondered why pharoah said 'tomorrow' but it was a choice HE MADE and once again he paid the price "another day of frogs!"

then the Lord said to me: THE CHOICES WE{i} MAKE AFFECT NOT JUST US BUT THOSE WHO ARE AROUND US-THOSE WHO MEET WITH US.

it's not just us who 'suffer' or 'gain' from the choices we make in our personal lifes but every other person we know or would meet.

IT IS NOT JUST ABOUT YOU- and that is the coffee you need to wake up to meaning-this is the truth you have to accept.

the choices we make in 'our' lifes either ENRICHES the lives of those we come across or makes them the 'POORER'-.

it was pharoah's choice that got the entire land of Egypt into a horrible situation- and instead of him to LEARN from that and correct himself he repeated the same FOLLY.

we leave in a 'self-obsessed' world; we want to constantly have our way-do as we like thta we make the CHOICES we eventually would regret; the CHOICES those around join to pay the price for.

• the husband/father who CHOOSES not to break free from his addiction to alcohol- he is NOT the only one who suffers his entire family suffers as well.

• the man/woman whose REFUSES to abandon a pessimistic outlook on life is NOT the only one to suffer; but those who surround him/her.

the thng baout choices , is that conciously or unconciously, we are MAKING them- we either choose life or death; and have the consequence of our choices to look forward to.

the bible says in James 'he who lacks wisdom should ask God who gives generously.' you and I NEED wisdom for choice- once we understand that it does not END with us, but BEGINS with us; we become more dependent on the Lord's leading for direction {as it should be anyway.}.

so yea : 'THE CHOICE THE PRICE'; remember its NOT just us who reap from our choices BUT those around us. this is a message on selflessness in a way- becos once you are out to do right by God and by those around you {like paul admnishes us in one of the epistles to do our best to live at peace with those around us} you cease to live for self, and if that is not christ-like, then i wonder which christ we talking about here.

his peace. chichi

TAKING CHARGE...

i dunno if like me there is anyone who this is for... but really im writing this for me. getting outside myself and speaking to self....

siting around waiting for things to 'change'? you might as well get ready to wait for a long time....

there is the change that only God can deleiver and there is the change only you can deleiver.

'you need to take charge'. quit crying, mopping, day-dreaming, wishing... and TAKE CHARGE!!

moses did... God said {not really} from here on out it is you... you strech forth that 'stick' and the sea will part.... you dont and well the egyptians will catch up at get ya!

so what are you waiting for.

do the cruches.
do the sit up.
eat right.{try}

your dream {body} will remain a dream other wise.

ps 18 vs 29: God's got your back.

his peace my love.chichi

loving us as we are...

ps 139 vs 1 : "O lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me." {NLT}

*short story*

in primary school, i was the chubby girl with the geeky glassess{ glassess still there tho much more trendy- the weight? lets just say 'curves' LOL!!}; i remember then, my favorite book in the libary was about a chubby girl who had no friends, and who then lost weight and everyone wanted to be her friend!!

well i had friends; what i did not have was any boy crushing on me!!{when i was a child...*sigh*}. i was NOT the 'type' the boys were going for; and in so many ways it was shown.


then in primary 5 i met O.H, it is weird how i still remeber his surname,how he looked... or is it?
i remember him because; he had a crush on me... he liked me.

it was weird for me... No boy had 'liked me-liked me'; i remeber one day he was talking to me, and i think i actualy said 'are you talking to me?' that is how SHOCKED i was... there were finer girls {thank God fordeleiverance from such low self estem}.

finally i accepted O.H crush, and i experienced something i had believed i'd leave primry school without!!


sometimes we wonder what God is STILL doing with us; why does he STILL care about me, why does he STILL love me... after all i have said and done, does he not know it all, my wicked private thoughts, my flaws... does he not see them....

feeling undeserving of the love of God has its limit!! sometimes statan is just messing with our mind, telling us how undeserving we are... and in those times God takes NO delight in our seeming 'awe' of his love...


i told the story above becuse i believe in alot of ways it is kinda how we react to the fact that God loves us just as we are...

we are like "me? me? God loves ME??!"

he does, i was thinking of the fact that God CHOSE to love you and i; he purposely loves you, his love did not just happen, he pre-planned to love us...eph chapter one the verse 4 says God chose us in christ and loved us BEFORE the foundation of the world was made....

and everyday since after he made the foundation of the world he loves us STILL... as we are, as i am...

and it is his love for us that inspires us to be better people for him...

while we were yet sinners he died for us.

i think we should stop trying to figure out why he does love us and begin to accept it and thank him for it....

he knows EVERYTHING and he CHOOSES to STILL LOVE US!!

aint that just fantastic!!

his peace. chichi.