a year almost in words

As I listen to this gospel track eight; I am so grateful I so would not have made it this far without my God, my Lord my everything… I mean I have learnt so much about him; even though I still act as though I need ‘schooling’ but if he had not chosen to bless me, to love me or show me his compassion…. I won’t be here literally and metaphorically.

I mean when I first got into the UK; I was still miserable, I had left ‘Egypt’ but in Canaan I was depressed; my mind was tormented, I felt so isolated and alone… so out of my depth; there were nights I cried, just like in ‘Henry Carr’ those nights I cried myself to sleep; mehn, God has been with me o! He has seen me at my worst and at my feeble attempt at being my best…. He has seen me whole, broken, torn, ripped, and his love and grace has always loved me into wholeness, into joy…. Into peace.

Academically it has been wonderful, my worst experience though is all the group works I was a part of, because none of them made me better…. None of them gave me room or a chance, I was just a number not a participator; but the writing has been wonderful…. I have written some wonderful pieces , from MARA to Girl like me and others, the writing has been my best experience, though there was a point where I thought I did not have it in me; but God, ND and ‘brown-bear’ were there to help me get it together.
I became an aunt too; I saw the birth of my niece live…. I made a friend; D wonderful girl…. There was Ly but she left and funny I did not get to miss her, because Dee was introduced into my life and it has been fun. I hope next year we are still chummy; she is the type of girl pal I want.I added weight in Nigeria, came here lost some… then picked it up then lost a bit
So far mehn I give God all the glory, honor and adoration; here I am today and I remember where I was yesterday and I just worship him; he has loved me and just been too much. When I had given up on dreaming he sent me to sleep…. Giving me another chance of dreaming. Who is like my God? Who is like my God?
I was not sick one day.
I never went hungry.
I never went without the right clothes for the weather.
I was never alone even when I walked alone.

He has loved me with a love that is beyond my understanding, but my heart understands that in the greatness of his love I am humbled and I know I should be thankful and grateful.

So here is to my God, my creator, my everything: thank you, thank you, and thank you.
It is you and me, me and you in this thing called life.

For all the experiences, good or bad
For all the blessings big and small
For what you have helped me to understand and even for those things you are calling me to trust you for without understanding ‘why’.

I know you are faithful. I know you are faithful and I love you so much. I love you so, so, much.

through with my first year; God has bee too good to me.

his peace. chichi.

UNTO GOD....

a life yeilded to him... that is what God expects of us from us; a life truly surrendered. a heart that ceases to be ours and has become his, a mouth that only speaks for him, yeilded unto him....

i just listned to T.D JAKES preach a sermon titliled 'building your own alter.' he said alot of powerful things but one in particlar moved me ....

first an altar in this case in refering to our lifes/heart, someone who has pioritized Jesus giving him a place that will never be long to another, someone who earnestly seeks God without being watched, someone who geninely is surrendered to life of absolute God pleasure.

worship is not just in songs, worship is a lifestyle-we worship God everyday by what we give to him : a verse in psalm34 reads "... those who honor him will have all their needs..."

{like joyce Meyer said once we need to worship God/ love him not just because of what he gives but because of WHO he is...}

a true worshipher, ALWAYS worships God in ALL things!!

short story:

i had to stay over at a relations house sometime last year, and i had to help out around the house. HELP OUT ALOT!!
i was cleaning, sweeping bringing....
somedays i got weary of doing good... sometimes i was tempted to grumble, and do everything in anger...

but whenever that feeling caame over me strongly i'll remind myself what God told me the first day i got there:

" SERVICE COMES BEFORE HONOR".
i never knew that... or thought of it that way. immediatedly i set my attitude right saying everything i do here is unto God and for God, and yes in his time he will allow me reap the reward of it.

best believe i did my 'work' there to the BEST of my ability, i made sure i did everything perfectly. apart from the blessing to come {amen} it was also the fact that i saw it as a worship unto God, something he would accept and delight in.

the bible says :let your light shine before men so that they may see your good work and GLORIFY GOD in heaven....

we are called to live a life unto God becuse God gets glory.... great honor from it{and that is what worship does, God is enlarged and honored},eyes look to God when we live for him....

i remembered this story cos T.D JAKES said sumthing:

"when you have an altar, you can not be selfish in your sevice; everything you do comes from that santfied place deep on the inside of you thus making your offering/service holy and acceptable unto God"- i paraphrased sum parts.


unto GOD...
not for you...
not for me...
not for them...

giving to God the best of us, the ALL of us-

i am still in a state of pondering this message, of giving God an altar in our lives... am still thinking in my spirit what such a powerful message means.... diging deep, digging deeper...

but the much made clear to me i put down so not to forget.

UNTO GOD....
unto God...

grounded and well rooted in him; hence everything ceases to be about me.

giving him my best, giving him worship in everything and at all times.

still meditating.

his peace.chichi