Wednesday, 31 December 2008

halleluyah come on get happy!!

not been the easiest day for me for some not the easiest year but glory to God for his mercies.

have a blest 2009! full of wonder, favour, grace, mercy, increase, wealth of all kinds most of all I wish you what you wish yourself for the new year.

happy new year!!

best wishes.

Saturday, 20 December 2008

on a mission

I began to feel very concious that my entries had been getting too perosnal... I told God about it, and he made me understand that sometimes in sharing about him I have to be ready to share a piece of me as well. so i'm okay; no more complaining.

I asked God to give me a word, something he would have me to share. and i remembered that lyric to a song 'what's that you have in your hand.' I was aking him for a mind blowing message that will get a thousand comments (i kid!!)but having just read the story of Gideon in the book of Judges, i realized, I had something to offer, something that GOD could use to do great things like a thousand comments (maybe. lol!).

I am in a season. not a season i particularly care to be in, but there is no doubt in my mind that I am going through a season that makes me ask the occassional 'why me?' the comforting thing about 'seasons' is that they pass away, give way to another phase...

as I stood before the kitchen sink gulping down water after the error of too much pepper in my food! I looked out the window and then i saw this tree, not the one in the above picture, but one similar to it.

'a naked tree' I call it. the tree stood there in the middle of the car park displaying its nakedness, its lack...

everyone can see this tree, everyone knows that this tree is lacking, some look at it mockingly, some look with disinterest 'better him/her than me, some look with sympathy and wonder 'why is this beautiful tree going through this?'

i must say here that the word tree is a metaphor for us, for anyone in a season that seems too uncomfortable. every body knows about 'it' whatever it may be, every one is seeing you barely getting by but trying all the same; your pain can be aptly discribed by a blind man.

i say again the comforting thing about seasons, is that they give way to new ones. our hope as the sons and daughters of Big Daddy is that that which is ahead is wonderful, brighter than we can even guess or try to envisison.

we go through what we go through now, not because God does not see or he is having some kind of perveted fun at the expense of our emotions and sanity!! no, that is not the KInd of God I serve...

but this, all that you are faced with today is to produce character. let me quote this scripture i came across this morning:

"we can rejoice, too when we run into problems and trials for we know that they are good for us-they help us learn to be patient. and patience develpos strength of character in us and helps u trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady. then when that happens, we are able to hold our heads high no matter what happens and know that all is well, for we know how dearly God loves us....' ( Romans 5:3-5)

God is out to give us the best... and that does not come without its own share of challenges and diffculties.

one thing I know for sure even when i act like i don't, is that God is too faithful, too inlove with you and I to not have a purpose for what he allows us face. a purpose that works out for our highest good.

at the end of the day just like the 3 hebrew children, we will come out of this season, and people would marvel and give glory to God when we get personal and tell them just where we have been.

merry christmas.

his peace. chichi

Friday, 5 December 2008

something for the soul

Take my hand lord, do not let me fall
This world is cold lord and you are all I got
Make me smile lord
Warm my heart with your love
Once again lord arise, arise

Wipe my eyes lord and heal my heart
Take it all lord, the pain, the guilt
Make me clean lord, so I can stand
Once again lord arise, arise

Have your way lord
I am wholly thine
All I have lord is no longer mine
Make me worthy, make me clean for you
Once again lord arise, arise

Fight my battles, save my soul
You’re my hero, you’re my only hope
Let me know lord your grace and glory
Once again lord arise, arise

Arise, lord arise for me
Arise, lord arise
Take no more lord come set me free.
Once again lord arise, arise.


Monday, 1 December 2008


'each time i close my eyes
to think about your love
i end up falling on my knees to worship you
and i as i lift up holy hands
in awe of your holy name
dear lord jesus, i'm right there where you are.'

i believe in God because he has carried me through this life that has been encumbered with pain and tears, but he has never ever let the worst that i have feared happened.

when my dad had that surgery, when recovery was at a stand still, when he seemed too frail and fading even unable to sit up or stand by himself, unable to bath himself... now look at my popsi moving around with his own swagger, sitting up and pushing long hours at the office.

the accident that almost took me and my mum, just the day after spending three nights at the camp in prayers... the car sweverd off the road, how? all i remember is both us screaming 'Jesus' [i think we did!] the car was heading for one nepa pole... and inches before just stopped... later we were told had the car ran into that live wire at the speed it was... i won't be here today, neither my mum.

when we were barely getting buy... financially things got hard, so many things possible today once upon a time were not-jeovah jireh our provider!

all i have to do is look at my family... look at where i have come from, who i have been... and i know there has to be a GOD, and it is such an honor to believe in him.

i believe in God the re-writer of destiny.

Sunday, 30 November 2008

give thanks

novemeber may not have gone as you or I hoped or dreamed but God still is God, still great, still good and still able to deliver and save.

God bless ya'll.

in december God will show himself mighty on our behalf. in jesus name

his peace. my love. chichi

Friday, 28 November 2008

imagine me...

I just can’t stand …
Her beauty my ugliness
Her righteousness my shame
Her peace my burdens
Her laughter my tears
Her openness my fear of letting go
Her faith my doubts
But he still loves me I am not her and he doesn’t mind at all
In my ugliness he sees beauty
He gave me his righteousness
Took my burdens and gave his peace
Enjoys my laughter and wipes my tears
Wants to hear my heart, he wants me free from fears
He has given me a measure of faith and even when it feels as small as a mustard seed most times … it still moves mountains
I am not her but he stands beside me now, always, forever.

God doesn't compare us with anyone- so if you're anything like me i've got 3 words for you:
break the habit!!
his love and peace. chichi

Sunday, 23 November 2008

looking ahead...

You Have Our Attention, Lord
Prayer offered by Max Lucado© 10/4/2008
(Printable PDF)
Our friends lost their houseThe co-worker lost her jobThe couple next door lost their retirementIt seems that everyone is losing their footing
This scares us. This bailout with billions.These rumblings of depression.These headlines: ominous, thunderous-“Going Broke!” “Going Down!” “Going Under!” “What Next?”
What is next?
We’re listening. And we’re admitting: You were right.
You told us this would happen.You shot straight about loving stuff and worshipping money.Greed will break your heart, you warned.Money will love you and leave you.Don’t put your hope in riches that are so uncertain.
You were right. Money is a fickle lover and we just got dumped.
We were wrong to spend what we didn’t have,Wrong to neglect prayer and ignore the poor,Wrong to think we ever earned a dime. We didn’t. You gave it. And now, tell us Father, are you taking it?
We’re listening. And we’re praying.Could you make something good out of this mess?
Of course you can. You always have.You led slaves out of slavery,Built temples out of ruins,Turned stormy waves into a glassy pond and water into sweet wine.
This disorder awaits your order. So do we. Through Christ,Amen· • • • ·
God will always give what is right to his people who cry to him night and day, and he will not be slow to answer them. (Lk. 18:7 NCV)

so much is going on in the world today, literally all you hve to do is turn on your raido, open the newspaapers, switch on the television, eavesdrop on conversation and you would wish you existed on another planet... one that is a total opposite of this one you and i live in.

I can only think of one thing more than ever when i listen to the news, or hear stuff... something BIG is about to happen in this world... could God's coming be any closer? what a question right? I mean everyday brings closer the coming of the groom, for those who are engaged isn't everyday that goes by a countdown to the 'WHEN', to the 'D-daay'.

in high school when people talk about the RAPTURE, immediatedly, you have the so called 'bad girls' turn 'saintly'... and how long did that last, maybe a week or even less. then you had the 'spiros' getting self righteous with themselves.... I used to be one of those back then, it is good to 'grow up' lol!

at the risk of sounding like a party pooper, or raining on anyone's parade.... I just hope WE... and believe me I am no exception to this, always remember Christ return- and make every second count.

my sister has been in 'blogsville' all this while, i am pained she just told me today!! *insert sulking face* this is her, and should you feel inclined to say 'hi' by all means do.

God show me how to do the better you want me to do, help me with the self i struggle with everyday. in jesus name. amen.

off to read o!!!

his peace. my love. chichi

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

my gbedu...

artiste :adele...

"when the rain is blowing on your face
and the whole world is on your case
i could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love.

when the evening shatters and the stars appear
and there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love.
I know you haven't made your mind up yet

but i would never do you wrong
i've known from the moment that we met
no doubt in my heart where you belong.

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
know there's nothing that I wouldn't do
to make you feel my love

the storms are raging on the rolling sea
and on the high way of regret
the winds of change are blowing wild and free
you aint seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy make your dreams come true
nothing that i wouldn't do
go to the ends of the earth for you.
to make you feel my love.


i just loovvee the sincerity of the lyrics
love is something ain't it?
his peace.chichi

Friday, 14 November 2008


Monday, 10 November 2008


thank you for the sunlight
i no longer have to fight
for now you give me rest
for now all is well
and whenever the sea may churn

Lord you will see me through
because you never change
as you did yesterday so you will do today.

i cry each time i remember
how sad i used to be
how misery and depression
never let me see

all that you were doing
all that you had given

to go through the night
and wake up to your light.

my faithlessness could not keep you bound.
my lord i bow before your throne
my foolishness did not make you turn away
you saved me.... Lord you saved me.

i look at the days ahead
and i smile in my heart
because lord, you have made things right again.

because you answer prayers Lord i will pray
and i will by grace trust you through my pain.

Today is a new begining for me-thank you-
i can dream of a 'happy-ending'
Lord you saved a soul, i hope you know.
my soul forever thanks you.

and when darkness falls on my world;
Jesus help me to say 'thy will be done.'
holy spirit teach me to be stay strong-
and I know I will come out of the storm

full of Joy because I overcome.


"we are often troubled but not crushed, sometimes in doubt but never in dispair, there are many enemies but we are never without a FRIEND, though badly hurt atimes never destroyed."

his peace. chichi

Saturday, 1 November 2008

a glimpse into yesterday

I must admit that i had second thoughts about doing this, telling about God's goodness to me is one thing, getting all personal is another!!

but I got reminded about a sermon my brother gave a while back at church, where he said it is about GOD all the time and not about ME... and so knowing that not sharing a testimony is making me more important than God somewhat, i have decided to come out, thank God for the boldness!!

God has done alot for me and my family to be honest, picking out one singular thing is difficult because he has done so much for me; for us.

i was looking for the verse in the bible that talks about God being faithful even in our unfaithfulness, i think is hebrews but i am not sure where [if u know abeg tell me.].

2007 was a very difficult year for me and my family; we seemed to be receving hits fro everyside, battles being fought left, right and centre, mehn it was not beans or yam at all!!

it is good that i can make a joke about it now, because in that time, i did not know who God was anymore, i did not recognize him, and he seemed to be too quiet for my liking...

my sister had a miscarrage and she got pregant again, but that too had drama, i remember the night she woke up to pee only to be soaked in blood, i was so scared my sister ran straight into my mother's room at 2a.m there about, i can still see the look on her face when she said ' i wanted to pee... i am bleeding'. we just us ladeis got into the car, speaking in tounges calling on God all the way to the hospital; my heart was in my mouth... would you believe that it happend again!!

my brother had been studying for a phd and at the end the university gave him a diploma; to say he was gutted is an understatement... he worked hard very hard; i know because i remember seeing him on the floor of the living room books all around him... researching stuff on a laptop he burrowed from a friend. did we pray? kai we-as in my entire family prayed fire and thunder when we gathered to pray as a family and even individually. but somehow he got a diploma, we are shaken up...

what about yours truly? there was a problem with my admission at the university i attended, and i had to wait indefinately till it was sorted out! talk about drama; my mates were attending classes, sitting exam and i was at home, or at the uni begging Mr. A and Mr. B to look into my case. to be honest with you at a point i snapped, as in i snapped snapped.... my life was becoming a living hell!

2007 was a difficult year... very difficult indeed. we prayed, we cried.... my family almost lost me....

but that was not the end at all....

my sister on the 4th of febuary 2008 gave birth to the most amazing and cutest baby ever [second to my own sha when the time comes lol!] even with all the drama that happened in that preganacy God enabled her carry it to full term!! he is amazing... and did i say my neice is the cutest baby ever?

my brother got a first class from oxford university, he did a programme with them and got a first class!! now is God not too much, and not from one 'small' university o! Oxford university!!!

and me... i got out into the UK to start school; even though i have had to go from the beginning... i feel God's hand and love everyday i am here. my brothers keep telling me i am better off here, whenever i tend to get so overwhemled and scared... and I know i am even in the 'little' things i see God working out something really great. i had thought i had no future-that it was over, but i see God is just getting started with me! halleluyah.

God is good, to any of his sons and daughters out there having a trying period; God is good- and this too shall pass, I -WE can testify to that.

tough times will come, but God is able to carry you through them, and his love is dependable.

to those who are yet to know him- God loves you, and even though you do not acknowlege him he will forever be good to you. try him and you will be glad you did... he is a father, a friend, and a worthy saviour.


father WE are trusting you for so much more, thank you because you are ever faithful and you will come through.

i would not proof read this, as i feel so 'naked' already! no mind me shey is me that wanted to do 'testimony time' anyhow. ..just so that i do not 'edit' anything so pardon any spelling error.

his peace. chichi

Friday, 31 October 2008

getting personal

psalm 145 :10-11

'all your works will thank you, Lord.... they will talk about the glory of your kingdom; they will celebrate examples of your power....[12] they will talk about your mighty deeds.'

i had this idea... or rather i believe God gve me an idea about how 'we' could use blogger and 'get personal' about our God, why we believe in him, the things he has done for us that just cause us to recognize his pressence, his power and coolness.

i wanted 'us' to share 'examples of his [God's] power', because when we declare through our testimonies or what have you that 'he is' it is just an amazing thing, God needs us to declare him, not because without that he ceases to exist or be the soverign God that he is; but because it is an awesome thing for him to know we will stand up for him, we will challenge [not in a 'gra-gra' way tho!] those who say otherwise. one thing God responds to so much, one thing that excites him is our faith in him-our confidence in all he is.

i wanted beliver to do start 'this' off, i guess she does not grab the hints i have been dropping that i am quite a shy person, i guess she assumes because i talk endlessly with her it is the same way i am with everybody!!lol

i will do a proper post tomorrow, in line with everything i have tried to explain. and if anyone is interested, please get on board.

everything in life is a choice even this, so if you choose great if not... i guess my marketing skills need to be tuned up!!

anyway simeone, thanks for the nomination o! i guess my speech will also have to wait because right now i gats to get ready for school!!

y'all have a wonderful and graced day.

his love. chichi

Sunday, 19 October 2008

a qualified teacher and counselor

"show me the path where i should go
O Lord, point out the RIGHT road for me to walk. lead me, teach me for you are the God who gives salvationn. I have no hope except in you." ps 25: 4-5

"the very day i call for HELP, the tide of the battle turns..." ps 56:9 [living bible].

there is nothing as humbling as being reminded that one is a work in progress without all the answers....


there is so much relief that follows when there is a qualified teacher and counselor like our heavenly father.

lord i trust you to make me the best you know i can be.

his peace, my love. chichi.

Wednesday, 15 October 2008


Now that I am here:

Here with you,

Now that I am here:

Having reached a place of self acceptance,

Now that I am here:

Laughing so loud, and smiling late into the night,

Now that I am here:

Re-Awakening the dreamer in me,

Now that I am here:

Assured and at rest…

Finally I am where I want to be… though my journey and aspiration is incomplete but because today has come, I know tomorrow is assured.

Thank you Jesus.

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

from my heart...

i guess i have been away this long again just becos i am wondering the relevance of my voice or its impact. i admit this sounds a bit 'somehow' but i guess with all the voices out there you wonder what use is yours, you guys are all saying the samething... if i keep silent who will notice?

answer: God will.

i have been at home being bored and busy at the same time, having lots of time on my hands to wonder... who am i kidding... worry and fret about my life and whot is or is yet to be. i have been so preoccupied with me that i have excused my not being here sharing God's truth as me not seeing the need to join the choir out there!!

when did it become about me? it never was and it never will be. i am part of a bigger picture, a grander plan that jeahova himself is sorting out. it is humbly when i realize it is not about me... to give of myself to those who need it even when i want to curl up and sap strength from some one else.

'when kings wake up it is a dangerous thing' i heard this from a man of God, he was talking about understanding you and i are more than our jobs or the position/role we take or play in our daily lives, there is something in us that the world is hungry for!

sometimes one can not help but give a smirk at the attempt to beilieve that you are relevant to the world!! i mean the whole wide world!!

i am important.

say that with me 'I AM IMPORTANT.' every morning, and before you sleep at night. say it with faith, say it with a picture of your personal greatness in your mind. I AM IMPORTANT.

i guess we all fall into the trap of feeling insignificant but it is good to know we can never be; if i was why am i still here? if there was no reason for my life or voice i would not be here or experince the things i have which enable me to contribute meaningfully in other peoples lives.

to be relevant to the world you have to be relevant to those who make up your personal world. be a contributor.


if you refuse to speak out, or take action people will suffer from that. in the parable of the sower, the seeds that fell on thorny paths were people who got excited about God and took in truth, but allowed 'life' take the truth away, the living bible translation [to paraphase] says these people did not mature, they did not go deeper and hence could not help others to grow.

the growth of someone you know intimately or not depends on you, depends on me.

so i resolve to raise my voice and join the melody that declares Jesus the same, yesterday and forever!!!

his peace. my love. Chichi

Thursday, 11 September 2008

what do I say?

it has been a looooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg while; i have been pondering what my 'first post' in months should be about.

something intense, start off with a funny story, go deep, stay on the surface?? what do i say?

well this blog is all about life and God, and life in God. so i will go as the spirit leads; plus this blog is not about me... not my alter, it is to God and to anyone out there who needs a pick me up ... should God 'pick you up' through any post here. wow! i will be so honored and blest.

christains are not perfect people with perfect lives; they are people who aim for perfection while the perfector perfects all that concerns them daily. i say this to remind myself not to look down on myself or anyone who loves God but falls short now and then; we wont get it right all the time, if we would there will be no need for grace.

i thank God for a wonderful holiday with my family; today i am forced to remember people who do not have that especially in the wake of today seven years ago in the US... the hurt and horror will not die. i prayed to God for him to comfort those people who lost family and friends, those who with the death of a husband, father, mother, wife, child lost the zeal and will to live, i prayed for comfort, his comfort. the bible tells me God is the God of all comfort. ALL, no matter the hurt he knows the words to say, the way to hold you and i to ease us from the crushing pain in our hearts.

someone will ask if there is a God then why do 'bad' things happen world over? i can not claim to know the anwer to that, but i am convinced there is a God; he lives, he speaks i am convinced. for as many things that raise questions to God's exitence, there are thousands that testify to it.

in time of hardship and anguish we who are God's chosen ones are called to trust him, TRUST him; a pslam says 'with all your heart' once again ALL. as my sister would say 'i may not see his hand but i trust his heart'.

somedays ago i spent time in prayer thanking God for his love. HIS LOVE is divine, his love chases the darkness away... for his love is the light at the end of the tunnel, his love is the reason why you and i SHOULD hope in him.

gosh now so much wants to pour out of me, for a second i had planned to just say 'stay tuned' lol.

what do i say? i say this HIS LOVE IS REAL, AND IT IS ABOUT TIME WE TRUST IN IT.

his peace. my love. chichi

Saturday, 7 June 2008


psalm 18 ver. 1-3

something to meditate on and be strengthed by; will be MIA for a while.
God bless you all.
his peace. my love. CHICHI

Tuesday, 20 May 2008

a year almost in words

As I listen to this gospel track eight; I am so grateful I so would not have made it this far without my God, my Lord my everything… I mean I have learnt so much about him; even though I still act as though I need ‘schooling’ but if he had not chosen to bless me, to love me or show me his compassion…. I won’t be here literally and metaphorically.

I mean when I first got into the UK; I was still miserable, I had left ‘Egypt’ but in Canaan I was depressed; my mind was tormented, I felt so isolated and alone… so out of my depth; there were nights I cried, just like in ‘Henry Carr’ those nights I cried myself to sleep; mehn, God has been with me o! He has seen me at my worst and at my feeble attempt at being my best…. He has seen me whole, broken, torn, ripped, and his love and grace has always loved me into wholeness, into joy…. Into peace.

Academically it has been wonderful, my worst experience though is all the group works I was a part of, because none of them made me better…. None of them gave me room or a chance, I was just a number not a participator; but the writing has been wonderful…. I have written some wonderful pieces , from MARA to Girl like me and others, the writing has been my best experience, though there was a point where I thought I did not have it in me; but God, ND and ‘brown-bear’ were there to help me get it together.
I became an aunt too; I saw the birth of my niece live…. I made a friend; D wonderful girl…. There was Ly but she left and funny I did not get to miss her, because Dee was introduced into my life and it has been fun. I hope next year we are still chummy; she is the type of girl pal I want.I added weight in Nigeria, came here lost some… then picked it up then lost a bit
So far mehn I give God all the glory, honor and adoration; here I am today and I remember where I was yesterday and I just worship him; he has loved me and just been too much. When I had given up on dreaming he sent me to sleep…. Giving me another chance of dreaming. Who is like my God? Who is like my God?
I was not sick one day.
I never went hungry.
I never went without the right clothes for the weather.
I was never alone even when I walked alone.

He has loved me with a love that is beyond my understanding, but my heart understands that in the greatness of his love I am humbled and I know I should be thankful and grateful.

So here is to my God, my creator, my everything: thank you, thank you, and thank you.
It is you and me, me and you in this thing called life.

For all the experiences, good or bad
For all the blessings big and small
For what you have helped me to understand and even for those things you are calling me to trust you for without understanding ‘why’.

I know you are faithful. I know you are faithful and I love you so much. I love you so, so, much.

through with my first year; God has bee too good to me.

his peace. chichi.

Monday, 12 May 2008

Remembering her.

today is the birthday of a dear friend of mine, who died sometime last year.
i had plans today; like light a candle etc... but i did not get on to doing that.

when i heard of her death; i cried my eyes sore, for days she was in my dreams. i really liked her alot; i am not really prone to making friends easily... or even trusting people enough to call them that but she was different.

the girl liked me and i knew it in all the little ways she showed it. she always wanted me looking good, always wanted me 'hooked', always wanted me doing well in school. she was not perfect; but you know how when loved ones die all we remember is how wonderfully fantastic they were!

i know i am not the one who misses her most, but i hope i am not the one who misses her the least.

she passed away so suddenly; like i ... no one saw it coming. she was so young; so full of dreams; she wanted to work in GSK.... possibly marry her boyfried at the time.

we really were as close as we could be. she was a good person, who believed in jesus. and that is why a long time ago i stopped crying over her... because she is truly with our heavenly father.

my prayer this morning as i rembered what today was/would have been : was that we know just how fragile this life is.... it can end like that *snaps finger*... we only pray to fufil our destinies and live out our dreams.... but why do we , or some of us procastinate on those thigs we can get done today on those changes we can begin to make in our lives.

not all of us will be old and grey, and have those moments to sit back and relive yesterday...[though the prayer is we would al make it then]. today counts, this moment, NOW IS IMPORTANT.

the bible says 'make use of every oppurtunity'. in church yesterday the message ws 'Jesus wants us to enjoy our lives.'that is why he came , that is why he died.

so lets live, as cliche as it sounds: lets live as though tomorrow is not a given. because as morbid as it may sound it really is not.

lets give God our best today
lets give loved ones our best today
today is the day to laugh, sing loudly and out of tune in the shower!! [like me]

now is the time to live....
to live a life that is without shame and regret when we come before his throne.

olaitan rest in peace. thank you for your friendship.

his peace. chichi.

Saturday, 26 April 2008

from sun-rise to sun set

hebrews 10: 35
'do not throw away this confident trust in the lord,
no matter what happens.
remember the great reward it brings you!'
beautiful verse; the part that got to me is ofcourse the line i have highlighted... 'no matter what happens'.
and you and i know alot CAN and HAS happened in our lives; in this journey of faith... things that wore us out, made us doubt, made us question; some of us even let go... only to rush back and regain hold of our faith....
'no matter what happens'
maybe this is a reminder; to hold on.
a reminder to believe in the promise of your Lord
a reminder to trust in his love and mercy that ENDURETH FOREVER.
from sun rise to sun set....
from the moutain top even unto the valley
no matter what happens.... do not throw away this confident trust you have in the lord; remember the great reward it brings you.
it is well. faithfulness is his[God's] very character [psalm 89: 8].
his peace. chichi.

Tuesday, 22 April 2008

this number is not reachable at the moment please try again later....

have you ever had this happen to you? what a question right? but has this happened to you when you 'mess up' and someone has gotten hurt and you so badly want to reach out and make things better; then Celtel abi MTN... vodafone, Tmobile... whatever tell you ' you can't make things better; not yet... not now.'

yesterday i slipped.... you know how you begin to fall; you are unaware that you are slipping till 'BOOM' your bum hits the ground hard! and slowly the pain comes... slowly the hurting begins, slowly you wonder 'HOW' what did i hit? what did i trip over? wasn't there something i could hold to prevent this fall?

so yes yesterday i fell; not the kind you may think; but the fall of a 'saint'... and i felt so bad; coviction became guilt; guilt became shame... and shame kept me curled up afraid to look up at God and 'come clean'. i mean he is aware of it... and just going to him and admiting it made me feel so ashamed; so worse than ashamed.

but i eventually picked up courage and spoke to him; not boldly... but timidly; not like a son... but as one so undeserving of that status.....

how could i fall like that?

i asked myself over and over as i tried to talk with God....

i felt like he wouldn't WANT to listen to what i had to say.... why should he; he had every reason; every right to BLOCK ME OUT for as long as he choose. it would have hurt but... i would not have complained; i would have waited till he called me.... no matter how long that wait would be.


and NO; No we should not go on 'sinning' so that grace may abound....; i remembered the song by donnie mclurkin : 'we fall down but we get up.' and i felt the Lord say to me : "we should not just live our lives with the mindset of 'falling' as 'humble' as that may be; but we should live our lives CAREFUL not to fall; looking at the 'ground' we are treding on and taking a step back or FLEEING when it calls for it.

i read the blog of 'disgodkid' his most recent post and i was 'moved' because i saw in his post the God i was reminded about yesterday; a God who like david said 'REMEMBERS we are from dust'.

God has given us his stength in exchange for our weaknessess; he has given us his wisdom in exchange for our foolishness; he has give us his righteousness in exchange for our sin stained garments....


i fell; i will fall, you fell; you will fall BUT GUESS WHAT???

when you call G-O-D; when you want to reach out and 'make things right'.... no CONNECTION wahala would get in the way!!

remember NOTHING can seperate us from his love!!!

i just picked me up! hallelujah.

his grace is suffiecient.

p.s : for the guy who on his blog said in his opinion 'jesus was a failure': I pray for you.... I pray for you.and just so you know that 'failure' has hopes of kicking it with u someday!!!

his peace. chichi.

Friday, 18 April 2008

*dedicated to T*

A sigh, a look, a prayer…

“No man could love her.”
She hears them whisper
Their scorn and mockery;
She can take no longer.

“Good girls finish last.”
The story of her life,
Yet she is determined;
To believe for an answer.

What she lacks she makes up for
In ways only a true man could appreciate
What she wants; is no game
Just love, just truth, just what is hers.

What gain can she claim?
If there is no one by her side
What has been her purpose?
If she has failed to ‘secure’ a life?

Tonight she wants to ask the forbidden
She wants to know: ‘what about me?’
What wrong have I done? To want the pure
To stay pure?

Why do they mock me?
Am I not good enough to be loved?
What about me?
What about me?

She looks at me awaiting an answer
Answer to a question I do not know either?
She believes in prayer
She believes in God
And all I can tell her is:
That is good enough…

Tomorrow you will smile
When you remember this journey of ours
Someday you will say; “I’m glad I did it no other way.”

But until that day comes
Deal with the present feeling however you must
But never count yourself out
There is a tomorrow on the horizon

To believe this is a MUST.

his peace; my love. chichi.

Friday, 4 April 2008

what lies ahead?

i don't know about anyone out there; but i do wonder about the infamous 'tomorrow'... as much as the word of God says don't I do.

some posts ago [feels like a decade now!!] i wrote on something i titled 'it is suppose to be'. i was in a place in my life where that was all i was medidating on... i was so restless, unhappy,confused because i personally did not understand WHY i was where i was; why things were the way they were. the enemy kept stealing my joy and i kept letting him.... i was at my wits end... i was loosing it; faith, hope, strength, joy, peace....BUT PRAISE GOD; I "GOT IT" i got the revelation and it changed alot of things for me!!

i know where i am coming from, the battles i have fought, the things i have seen, the mistakes i have made, the fears i have faced.... I KNOW YESTERDAY, BUT I DO NOT KNOW TOMORROW; and lets be honest that CAN be very, very scary.

one day i was taking a walk back from lectures; and i never look up when i walk... it is weird; i always look at the ground with the occssional lifiting up of my head which goes back down in an instant [may need doctor phil to analyze this!!]. as i walked the rare occasion where i lift up my head occured; but instead of instantly going back to admiring the ground; i decided to look ahead...

i saw a foggy picture of trees, and tall buldings and open, clear skies and i heard this whispered to me:
'as far as your eyes can see'. this i reapted over and over again in my mind 'as far as your eyes can see' and then i remembered the story of Abraham.

before i go further; i just wanted to say how God 'blows' me away each time... the way he sends words to us his children even before the 'situation' that requires that word occurs. this is the same with this incident... i was not in a place of wondering about my future, about my life on the day this word came....!!! its just amazing.

anyway back to the gist:

somedys after, i had time to look in my bible for the encounter Abraham had with God... where God told him something similar to what he told me, Genesis 15:5-:

"then the lord brought Abram outside beneath the nightsky and told him 'look uo into the heavens and count the stars if you can. your decedants will be like that-too many to count."

God literaly told Abraham 'you will have what you see'.

alot of exhaltations have been shared on 'having what you say-the power of confessing the right things into your life' but not much emphasis is placed on the importance of having a picture of that life/that future in your mind.

i know a girl who has a picture of her wedding ring on her finger!! she tells me she closes her eyes and she JUST SEES IT!!

we will not have JUST WHAT WE SAY, but WHAT WE SEE as well.

get that 'child' in you awake.... begin to see 'helicopters in your backyard'[so to speak]; we adults have gotten so jaded, and when it comes to God and faith you have to have 'OUTRAGEOUS' expectations!!

i say outrageous as one speaking in the flesh, as an ordinary man; BUT you and i know... no dream or request brought before our heavenly father is BIGGER than he is.

so when next we wonder : "what lies ahead?"
i hope we follow that question with : "what do i see?"

for anyone who struggles with SEEING that picture.... just as God took Abraham outside... he will lead you to his WORD... as the word enters into your heart, and as your faith reaches new heights the PICTURE becomes clearer...

"its all in our faith."
"its all in our faith."

his peace.chichi

Wednesday, 2 April 2008


not for a moment would she shed a tear
because she knows; yes she knows

she would no surrender to dispair
so much she knows, too much she knows

the signs would not sway her-
the truth is rooted strongly within her.........

so much she knows; too much she knows.

those who WAIT upon the LORD shall RENEW their strength....
they shall RUN and would NOT faint.

'things are going to get easier.'

happy new month.
his peace. my love. chichi.

Thursday, 27 March 2008


1 peter 3:9-: 'don't repay evil for evil. Don't retaliate when people say unkind things about you.INSTEAD pay them back with A BLESSING. this is what GOD WANTS YOU TO DO , and he will bless you for it.' [NLT version].

how hard is that? don't we just itch to have that infamous 'last word' , isn't the lure to 'hit them BACK where it hurts' the most appealing and tintilating?

somedays ago i heard something someone* said about me.... a relatively close someone; it was nothing 'bad' per say but it hurt me...
i walked into my room* and sat on mybed meditating on what had been said; immediatedly, the devil began to stir up anger within me, the 'how could so-and-so say that' 'what have i done to warrant this' 'it is not soand so 's fault... i blame condtion'.... yes i was getting furious; i knew to fight it but i let such emotons linger on for some seconds; until the above verse came up in my spirit....

'don't repay evil for evil' the holy spirit said to me and spent some time talking to me on this.

then i made up my mind; and i told the devil to carry is negativity outta here; i aint buying into bitterness and anger.... God's love is perfected in me. God wants me to repay 'evil' with 'good' and that is just what i am going to do! best believe satan carried his 'goods' away!!

my dearest the 'TAKE OVER' can/will only happen when you MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!!

when i say 'take over' i am refering to God filling you up so much so that you both are intertwined.... he becomes you and you become him!!

vs 15 of the same book and chapter of the bible says this :'... you must worship christ as the Lord of your life.'

you get it?

2cor 5:15 says this : "he {christ} died for everyone so that those who recieve his new life will no longer live to please themselves instead, they will live to please christ, who died and was raised for them."

i have one word for you 'altar'.

that is what your life and mine our; an altar unto God; a LIFE set aside/concencrated to him.

you desire the take over; then MAKE UP YOUR MIND TODAY; decide to live for God's pleasure; to give him the best of your life.... to be AS HE IS.

the 'TAKE OVER' is possible; the 'ultimate disappering act of self' can happen to you; but we have to go a step further from desiring.... we have to MAKE UP OUR MINDS.... TO CHOOSE those things which cause God delight.

i know, i know... it is hard; but like God once told me : 'it may be hard but NOT impossible.'

his peace, my love. chichi.

Tuesday, 18 March 2008


Ruth chapter one.

i want to share a message from my 'bible-study' journal; when i read it late last night, it moved me... so much i read it to my mum; i hope it MOVES someone too-i hope it comforts, encourages and strenthens as it did me:

"the moment of lack and insuffiency will surely pass; sometimes we are too sense orflesh ruled that we analyze the situations we face from the realm of the flesh and seek physical solutions to it.

what if Elimelech had not moved his family? would his death and those of his sons had happened?who knows.

VS6: sy alot but a key word is "... again" God blessed his people again.GOD IS AN AGAIN GOD!! if he did it before he will surely do it again because he IS there is NO shadow of change to him or his will for us his children.

so what do you seem to lack?have you looked around and seen nothing coming forth? are you loosing faith in a revival/renewal and planning on making a move? WAIT... i believe if there is anythng God had to ay to his children today it is 'wait' whay are you in a hurry? why am i?

NOW has its purpose, its reason. so wiat and who knows you may just be escaping a great loos by doing so.

in Ruth i see selflessness;Ruth could have easily left or bad-mouthed orpah before Naomi for living. VS18{NLT} says Ruth "made up her mind". alot of us need to 'make up our minds' not tomorrow but today!! because ONCE we know for sure today, tomorrow can NOT shake us.

the mind is a powerful thing/weapon, once its on the right track, set on the positive your life can NOT go off the path, neither can your mouth lead your life off the right path.

make a decision today, so that tomorrow having done everything to stand, you will stand.

is that decision to have faith, forgive, love yourself, live healthly, pray more, be more commited as a student, partner,employer.... everydya something in our life is calling us to MAKE A DECISION, TO MAKE UP OUR MINDS....

settle those issues once and for all; the mind is powerful once you have chosen /decided everything begins to fall into place. you can not be swayed differently.

Ruth did NOT speak harshly of orpah for living; we need to STOP playing judge and jury.... nobody has to be like us or live/act like us!!

stop 'hating' on those who act differently or choose differently; STOP 'hating' on those who walk-away while we stayed!!

we NEED to let mtters go. orpah left, Ruth did not drag the issue out in her mind or with Naomi; she moved on-she refused to be imprisoned by whatever feeling orpah's departing possesed. we need to let matters go and not embrace them/it. LET IT GO!!

a good thing came out of Moab; Ruth did for Naomi. even when we step out, God is there providing the help we need along the way, all geared up to taking us to where we NEED to be.

its not good to step out of line BUT then again thank God because it will never be the end of the world for us.

in pain good can be born. God's grace and love will win out in the end."

his peace. chichi

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

the choice the price.

as i lay in bed unwilling to arise from my slumber and begin my day, a scripture was wisphered into my spirit-Exoduos 8 vs 1-10.

it happens to me like that sometimes; God just 'wisphers' a word to me. anyway i jumped out from bed, reached for my bible, opened to the passage and began to study.

the gist of it: Moses had been sent to pharaoh with a message from God "let my people go, so they can worship me" that was the message the instruction; the command. however God added "...IF you refuse.... i will send vast hordes of frogs across your entire land...."

pharaoh refused- and payed the price; ' .... frogs covered the WHOLE land of Egypt..." vs6

time passed- and pharoah sent for Moses and Aaron and begged "plead with the Lord to take the frogs away from me and my people...."

Moses replied that it was Pharoah who decided when he will pray for the Land to be rid of the plaugue of frogs.

pharoah's answer: "do it tomorrow.

i personally have wondered why pharoah said 'tomorrow' but it was a choice HE MADE and once again he paid the price "another day of frogs!"


it's not just us who 'suffer' or 'gain' from the choices we make in our personal lifes but every other person we know or would meet.

IT IS NOT JUST ABOUT YOU- and that is the coffee you need to wake up to meaning-this is the truth you have to accept.

the choices we make in 'our' lifes either ENRICHES the lives of those we come across or makes them the 'POORER'-.

it was pharoah's choice that got the entire land of Egypt into a horrible situation- and instead of him to LEARN from that and correct himself he repeated the same FOLLY.

we leave in a 'self-obsessed' world; we want to constantly have our way-do as we like thta we make the CHOICES we eventually would regret; the CHOICES those around join to pay the price for.

  • the husband/father who CHOOSES not to break free from his addiction to alcohol- he is NOT the only one who suffers his entire family suffers as well.

  • the man/woman whose REFUSES to abandon a pessimistic outlook on life is NOT the only one to suffer; but those who surround him/her.

the thng baout choices , is that conciously or unconciously, we are MAKING them- we either choose life or death; and have the consequence of our choices to look forward to.

the bible says in James 'he who lacks wisdom should ask God who gives generously.' you and I NEED wisdom for choice- once we understand that it does not END with us, but BEGINS with us; we become more dependent on the Lord's leading for direction {as it should be anyway.}.

so yea : 'THE CHOICE THE PRICE'; remember its NOT just us who reap from our choices BUT those around us. this is a message on selflessness in a way- becos once you are out to do right by God and by those around you {like paul admnishes us in one of the epistles to do our best to live at peace with those around us} you cease to live for self, and if that is not christ-like, then i wonder which christ we talking about here.

his peace. chichi

Monday, 3 March 2008


i know, i know this is 2008 but 2007 is a year for me to remember... it changed my life; my walk with God and gave me new appreciation for my family. now i know how corny and cliche this sounds But i'll go ahead and say it still : "I WOULD BE LOST WITHOUT A FAMILY LIKE MINE." for real o! God has blessed me indeed.

2007 was the year i almost died... yea died; it was terrible o! the enemy really was bent on taking my life... i was in the pits, going through trials and jumping hurdles i had NEVER before expericend. 2007 was tough, tough, tough... i almost died; infact i was ready.

my faith in God died and came back to life and died again.... i struggled to trust him, to love him... infact i was LOST and miserable; battling with negative emotions....

my family kept lifting me up in prayer.... i'd be lost without them.

my sister was my 'sunday-school' teacher; she fed me with the word as best as she could. it often was just both of us at home and i will sit and listen.... i was angry but i was hungry... for hope, for peace for faith for strength....

then it changed... God saved me; delivered me from death.... but my emotions were all jumbled up, you know smiling on the outside dying on the inside.

the devil kept attacking my joy, peace, faith.... nd i kept letting him!!

until december 2007.... i heard a word; i read a word from the bible and my life has been affected ever since.



i realized i HAD to make a CHOICE to rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS.... the devil is a liar i had WON already!!

and life has been beautiful ever since..... im not the same girl i was in 2007.... God is working in me and on me now; i see the eveidence and feel the change.

im not where i want to be; all my ducks are not yet in a row... but i have faith, and my joy is not based on things but on Jesus my rock, the ancient of days... my lover my friend.

somethigs should never be forgotten; some testimonies sould never be hoarded.... the Devil is a liar; WE who are in Jesus have won!!

his love. chichi

Friday, 29 February 2008

A New Perspective

some days ago; i finished the book of Ruth... it was indeed a wonderful journey; every verse and all four chapters were solid food... tantalizing to my spiritual taste buds.... God had a word/message for me at everypoint.... to think i almost thought "nah!" when i was lead at first!!

so the title of this post is A NEW PERSPECTIVE; and that is waht happened to me after i read sometging in the book of Ruth 4:6:

"then I can't redeem it" the family redemmer replied.
let me give the background gist that lead to the above verse. Ruth had lost her husband and father-in-law and brother -in-law; she journeyed with her mother-in-law Naomi to the country of her late husband... a country to which she would be foreigner; but her selflessness got her thinking about her mother-in-law's need for her than for her own NEED {a message on its own.}
Ruth begins to work on the field owned by Boaz; Boaz takes notice of Ruth... he askes about her from his workers they describe her as a woman of HONOR {another message on its own}- i digress: " proverbs 31 vs 30:
"charm and beauty is deceptive, and beauty does not last BUT a womn who FEARS the LORD will be GREATLY praised."
jewish custom says qulifies Boaz to marry Ruth so that her late husband's name would go on when she birth's her first son. but little problem; there is someone else in line before Boaz.
have you ever looked up to someone for something: be it their love, support, pressence, happiness for you .... and they failed to deliever.
have you ever watched the 'perfect' 'ideal' people /circumstances walk out of your life... come to a close even before you were ready for 'it' to end?
have you cried, cried because the people who were to stay left, the people who were to love despised, the people who were to support abandoned, the people who were to be committed betrayed.... THE 'ONES' FAILED....
and you think.... 'no one else left..." remember Boaz.
Boaz ent to meet the family redemmer before him and the man said "NO"... basically it would complicate his life.... Ruth was a problem to him... Ruth did NOT fit into his plans.... or was it that HE did NOT FIT into the plans God had for Ruth?!!!
am getting excited!
do not hold 'them' back; do not try to make 'it' fit.... when it has grown 'too old', 'too weak'... THEY HAVE TO SAY 'NO' SO YOUR BOAZ CN SAY 'YES'.
you have to let it go... let them go, give it up.... and let God have the space to bring nto your life the things the people he has ordained for you before time began!!
when the man said 'NO', Boaz said 'yes'; he could not say 'yes' tomarrying Ruth no matter how much he was intrested in it until the oppurtunity came up.... and the opurtunity ws hearing 'NO'.
No is a negative word.... but in the story of Ruth it was the best word that could be offered.
the blessing may begin with hearing 'NO'.
the gift may be wrapped in 'NO'
the testimony is born out of 'NO'
NO is often the key that unlocks the door to your God designed future.!!
so next time you are faced with a 'NO' smile something is about to happen....
ruth 4vs13,19-20:
so Boaz married Ruth and took her home to live with him.
when he slept with her, the LORD enabled her to become pregnant, and she gave birth to a son.
this is their family line beginning with their ancestor Perez:
perez ws the fther of hezron.
hezron was the father of Ram
Ram was the father of Amminadb
Amminadab ws the father of Nahshon.
Nashon the father of boaz.
Boaz the father of Obed.
Obed the father of Jesse.
Jesse the father of David.
imagine what Ruth would have missed out on had the other man said 'Yes'.... she would have missed out on being one of the leading ladies in the chronology of Jesus's family line!!
time 4 a new perpective.
his peace . chichi
dedicated to my 'number one' Fan!! {believer} LOL..

Friday, 22 February 2008

gospel truth again... the begining of it all.

"for God so loved the world that he gave his only son
so that everyone who beleives
will not perish BUT have eternal life."
the following verse of the above scripture{john 3:16} says Jesus did NOT come to condemn the world but to save it.
the truth is it hurts me; it hurts me when i see people NOT regard God; it hurts me when EVEN I do NOT regard him as i should. what more do we want? HE loves us so much he "gave up" the one important person/being in his life and world. he made him who KNEW NO sin know sin that we may be saved.
CHRIST CAME AND DIEDTHAT WE MAY LIVE AND REGIN {not just in heaven but here on earth.}
in class a lecturer wanted to show a 'film clip' on TV but before he did he asked if there were christians were in this class becos will be offensive to them.... out of over twenty people THREE rose up their hands? out of those three people GOD knows those that are realy HIS; those in a relationship and not in a religion.
where hs the love gone?
i read some one's blog {by accident} where the person said and i quote " is to short."
that rubbed me the 'wrong way'; whatever 'swing' means is up in the air but all i know is it did not sound right... it sounded like that misguided and ignorant thing people say to excuse their'wrong' actions "you only live once!"
we live in ageneration that has forgotten its God. i do not want people to be suprised come judgement day.... but some are bent on being suprised.
jesus knocks on the door of each heart... who will open? who will let him in? who will not laugh at his love but will rather acept and trust it.
when it comes to this God i do get very touchy; it breaks my heart when i see people 'not care' why? do they not know HOW much he loves them, what he gave up for them.... why will they treat him or speak of him iwthout revere, respect with a lack of apppreciation!!
i do not get it at all!!
so i thought remind them... for those who have forgotton; tell them... for those who have NOT heard,
give your ALL to jesus... you wont regret it; believe me i know.
keeping it real. his peace. chichi

Thursday, 21 February 2008


i dunno if like me there is anyone who this is for... but really im writing this for me. getting outside myself and speaking to self....

siting around waiting for things to 'change'? you might as well get ready to wait for a long time....

there is the change that only God can deleiver and there is the change only you can deleiver.

'you need to take charge'. quit crying, mopping, day-dreaming, wishing... and TAKE CHARGE!!

moses did... God said {not really} from here on out it is you... you strech forth that 'stick' and the sea will part.... you dont and well the egyptians will catch up at get ya!

so what are you waiting for.

do the cruches.
do the sit up.
eat right.{try}

your dream {body} will remain a dream other wise.

ps 18 vs 29: God's got your back.

his peace my love.chichi

Monday, 18 February 2008


i do; i really do.

on sunday evening i setteled to study the word of God; and my devotional lead me to this verse in 1peter4:19:
"so if you are suffering according to God's will,
keep doing what is right and trust yourself
to the God who made you, for he never fails."
what struck me the most was "suffering acording to God's will" my mind threw this sentnece around; something in me was not to 'YAY!' about it; then Jesus came into my mind... his death, was a perfect example of suffering according to God's will.
some minutes ago i listened to T.D JAKES on line and he read from the scripture where Jesus said he did not come to bring peace.... and i thought 'WOW!'
we do not become christ-like/ like christ if life is without the challenges and battles, and oppositons! in the beatitudes Jesus said "blessed are you when you are persecuted for my sake..."
TD JAKES talked about "death to your/ my will", "death to sin."
and then this is the TRUTH i got; we who profess and confess christ have to choose death!!
death to our flesh, death to the world... choose a new world a new life where everything about us revolves around Jesus christ our Lord.
some of us do NOT want to die, some of us are HALF dead.... for some reason; we do not want to be LOST in him-JESUS.
for some reason we delay change that makes us better sons and daughters...
for some reason the LIGHT is going out and we are TOO slow to fan it into flame...
for some reason trying... now has no point, makes no sense.
but until you and i are completely dead to self... we will NEVER come alive in Christ; for the bible does say only the pure of heart will see God...
'death' is a scary thing; it is something we rebuke, we refuse, we do not want to think or talk about.
spiritual death is the BEST thing... peter says in his first book chapter 4 vs 13:
instead be VERY glad-because these trials,
will make you partners with christ...
when we live for christ; the trials will come... when we choose death; the devil begins to see us as people he has to bring down... we become a threat to him just as jesus was, as jesus is...
but will the fear of trials unknown stop you and i from choosing death?
his peace. chichi.